Send me

A couple of years ago, I was going to start a blog. I wrote up a couple short stories. I spent time reviewing them. I dreamed up all kinds of different ideas on what I would write about. I made lists. I made plans. I even had grandiose dreams about improving myself and the world one small post at a time, for all of humanity. To infinity and beyond. While pointing everyone to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and hopefully to heaven.

Than I decided to bring it to Jesus in prayer. I know, I know, I should have started there. I should have gotten direction from God first but that is not what I did. So anyhow, I brought all my ideas to Jesus at Adoration. I know he is everywhere and can see everything, but I have a relationship with him, so I prayed it all out telling him all about my plans. Yes, Jesus has a sense of humor. I find that out the hard way practically every day when he let’s me do my own thing. Instead of getting a pat on the back like I thought was going happen, I got an undeniable nagging thought that he never told me to write a fail blog. I argued, “That is all I got.”

I left adoration disappointed and went home and dumped my files. I started listening more to people I looked up to and reading more in the Bible, I read about saints, and really tried hard to be filled with the trinity and see things from a lovely perspective. Maybe I did it wrong, but there were moments it felt like suffering and was lonely. I see now how much needed to change within me. Time had proven that I wasn’t ready, when I thought I was. Although I am kind-of one of those people that never feels adequately ready. There can always be an improvement.

Anyhow, trying to follow Jesus on the next step is difficult. I always want the whole plan just handed to me. Instead, while in a relationship with Jesus or anyone else for that matter; it is just one step at a time. In hindsight, I understand if given the whole plan it wouldn’t be the same as being lead. So I think I am called to just give one piece of love at a time while I hope, pray and have faith that it helps us all. What is the next step your called to do?

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