My mind is always thinking on something. The only time it is truly resting is when I am sleeping and even then it comes up with some bizarre dreams, like swallowing marbles. Those moments when I am not praying, listening, responding, or actively thinking; I usually have a song stuck in my head. I have been walking around the last 24 hours with a song. I do not want it there, popping into my head, changing my life direction. Granted one song can not do that but a series of choices can. Yes, I tried the whole listen to the entire song and psychologically analyze why it may be stuck there in order to get rid of it.
Over and over in my head is the song Captain Jack by Billy Joel. “Captain Jack will get you high tonight and take you to your special island.” Ok, not the song that should necessarily be shouted from the roof tops. Although, I could see how someone would make that choice during their high. Anyhow, I am who I am, fully human, just like you.
Since it is apparently stuck there, I have reflected and tried to give it a new perspective. It doesn’t really matter what a person’s Captain Jack is. I believe we all have something that we are addicted to. Be it a big vice that changes the course of our life or something small. Something that we could even be describing as a healthy habit. That habit that we deep down know it comprises ourselves in an unhealthy proportion. No matter what it is, if we do not try to be filled with gifts of the Holy Spirit, specifically self control, it will control us and be our Captain. We are to have only one ruler, one God. But is that true if we have an addiction? However the addiction starts, it never starts out as wanting to hand over our life to a drunken sailor.
Going back to your special island; Who doesn’t want to be on their own island? Or maybe you do not realize (yet) your all by yourself on the island. Being surrounded by people with the same, similar, or co-occurring vices may make you ignorant to the battle. The thing is no matter how amazingly great the island seems, I think we all reach a point where we want to get off the island. Visit the tropical island? Why yes please, sign me up! I will worry about the consequences later.
If your stuck on the island with all your friends it is difficult to embark on the journey HOME without them. If you perceive that you are winning it makes you want to grab those around you and run towards The Father. If your on the island by yourself perhaps your internal dialog is that no one will even find you on the island. Your not good enough to go searching for. Surely, God leaves his flock in search for one.
At first, Captain Jack is, just let me take a small moment break from reality and enter a fantasy island. Soon, as we all know, we need more and more to be satisfied. If it is never enough. God is the only enough. Perfection says, we are to serve the Lord all the days of our life. ALL, not just most days, or some days but all. Where is that sign up sheet now?
That is what I find most challenging about trying my best to be a disciple of Jesus. There are no breaks. Than again there are no breaks in hell either. No sense of living on rock bottom when there are other choices to be made. May you find the strength to make the right choices today and tomorrow. Let God be your Captain, all the days of your life.