Guardian Angel

When I was a little girl, every night before bed I would say my nightly prayers. God Bless…we went through the whole family tree. Some nights I would stall and ask God to bless each person I knew, by name, even all my Catholic school classmates. Even the smart boy who annoyed me with his better-ness. We would pray some extra petitions at times and end with the guardian angel prayer.

A while ago, I had heard a speaker state that you could ask your guardian angel to intercede for you. Not only that but your guardian angel can communicate with other guardian angels. In many ways, it sounded like a hocus pocus new age idea to me. However, it was said in church by a Catholic Deacon so I figure it must really be true. I decided I would give it a shot.

I started praying to/through my guardian angel in regards to something unwanted in my life. Unwanted because it didn’t bring about holiness. I started to hear things that would help me on the journey. Like really hear things, clearly with exact direction, in perfect timing. Just simple things like “stop” “look down” and “be silent”. After a couple months of it being increasingly apparent to me that I was getting such a blessing, in this one situation; I started to think, I was a bit, well not all together there. Sure I was avoiding but avoiding what exactly? Slowly but surely with each direction, I started to feel like a puppet on a string. I started to question if the many coincidences were just that coincidences. That perhaps I was just being an extra ordinary spiritual person and hearing and seeing something that was not really there. I even started doubting God’s presence to the point of taking full and only credit of it just being my own intuition. Like I know what is on the other side of a closed door. I could no longer tell what was holy in my actions or others actions. It was down to just my mere existence seemingly to fall on good or evil without choosing the side I naturally fall to. It wasn’t like the action of just walking around, pushing up my sleeves, smiling, waving “hi”, or talking was inherently good or evil. It made no sense to me. It was more than a circus mirror of confusion. I no longer could decipher what is truth.

There I was fully questioning God’s blessings, protection, and guidance. Apparently, I decided there was no better time to test the theory, that God was not with me, than in a room full of people. Stinkin’ garage chapel. I was about to do a basic mannerism of mine and I heard “stop”. See, I compulsively wipe things clean without giving a thought about how others feel about it. I did stop for a moment and thought, “this is crazy, what is the worst that can happen?…clear across the room…”. Than I did the action. There was immediate force which almost had me fall to the cement floor. It came with more knowledge that fits into a second. This is the area in my life I most needed purified in. I just sat down in the folding chair and knew more than I wanted. Yet, still not knowing enough. I watched as my friend to the right got teary eyed. I wanted to tell everyone I screwed up but I was too ashamed. This wasn’t just a coincidence. This wasn’t just intuition. In hindsight, every person in that circle would have preferred that I listened to the grace. I think everyone wished to be someone else. Carrying someone else’s cross. As if that was easier. Thanks be to God for his blessings and grace.

So why tell the story now, a couple of years later? Well, because I think my friends should know that it is possible to have a guardian angel. It’s likely they already do know that. Maybe they will be like me and refuse to cooperate because of their own weakness. Maybe they will do the same and hear nothing. I pray that is not the case for you. I don’t know why I get to “hear things” and others go their whole life not hearing anything. Maybe everyone “hears things” and no one talks about it. I wasn’t talking about it.

You know how a problem child actually gets more parental attention. Either good or bad. Well, part of me thinks God is up there thinking that I obviously need more help than the average child of his. So he sends an attentive guardian angel, Saints, Mary…to help my poor soul. Maybe there are souls in heaven who would do anything on earth to get me and others to heaven. Maybe it is because I have no doubt that heaven is real.

Please do not get discouraged if some blessing or grace is not bestowed upon you. I know if things were reversed and I knew someone was getting seemly extra attention and favor from Almighty God, well it may not bring out the best in me. Just think, you probably don’t need as much help as me to get through life. Which is a good thing. I feel guilty at times for knowing that I currently have the relationship I do with God because I want everyone to have it. I do not understand why they don’t. I feel scared at times because I know he is in control of it and it could be gone just like that. I get discouraged because I still fail, even with so much help. I get worried that maybe passing every blessing on isn’t done correctly enough. Like maybe this time, I shared too much or not enough. No matter how busy I keep my guardian angel, the angel is there for me. I pray that you find yours. If you already pray/talk with your guardian angel, I hope this story encourages you. May the Holy Spirit bring something holy to you with this story.

Through the intersection of God, maybe your guardian angel changes the course of your day somehow, somewhere, simple things like suggests a holy song or prayer during certain times, maybe the phone rings just at the right time, a doorbell rings, maybe your guardian angel has you miss a turn and avoid an accident, maybe your guardian angel helps you to avoid an argument, avoid brashness to your family, avoid overspending, avoid gambling, avoid recreational drugs or alcohol, avoid gossiping, avoid eating disorders, avoid near occasions of your cross, whatever that is. I would love to hear any guardian angel story you may have.

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