Have you ever tried listening to a program and your internet cuts in and out? Like one minute everything is just fine and normal the next you have a blank screen and no audio? Well, that is often times what it is like attending something spiritual. I miss things. Maybe you miss things two. Like there are holes in our understanding.
Imagine if you will you are driving up a mountain, as you progress you loose hearing. The barometric pressure although you can not see it, is causing a disturbance, an annoyance. Perhaps it is something significant but we can’t clearly talk about that. Walking down the street and driving up a mountain are different things. Maybe it has the same effect on all people but that doesn’t make it Holy. Does it really matter how you get up a mountain if your faith is as small of a mustard seed it can move mountains. Still with me? Yeah probably not. Just gibberish. Let me try again.
Sometimes when I hear people talk about their struggles I hear…I used to be a cocaine addict. I want to be a cocaine addict. I dream about being a cocaine addict but I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior…so well…you know…I now just smoke my morning roll. It is a tradition. It is a sacrifice. Well, because you know how great cocaine is and I am not doing that. It is praising God with all my might and all my buddies. So I do this and drag along anybody else willing to follow.
I guess that is fine. We are all in different places on a journey but is that it? Am I misreading St. Teresa of Avila’s book on Internal Castles and her heart is high on something else? Wait, what? Am I misunderstanding St. Faustina’s Dairy when she talks about being in ecstasy with the Lord? Cause if those are the cases than aren’t our earthly struggles just plain ol mute when it is in comparison to the Love of God. Well in theory anyway. Like is our hearts not so on fire for the Lord that our earthly concerns are nule and void. Non existent. Maybe downgrading the wants is a path to getting there. I want the Lord more than anything by replacing a vice with something that kind-of sorta looks like heroic virtue at times. That is if we upgrade to loving God with our whole hearts. Maybe I got it all wrong but I just do not think my buddies are in the Lord’s presence as the great saints are when they are in prayer.
Speaking of non existent vice into virtue; St. Augustine believes that
He wouldn’t write about something that he did not believe. So it is possible to be healed of a vice through being gifted a healthy soul.
It is not chasing an experience. It is knowing that whatever our struggle is here on earth, whatever our cross is, whatever is in our backpack; it will be all known in heaven but it will no longer be a struggle. So why struggle over something with such freight when it is going to be null. Sure all your natural systems will be there but it will not matter compared to the immensely over powering love in your heart. Your body will echo God’s glory. Your soul will magnify the Lord. Your mind will be united in knowing. You will be a temple of the Holy Spirit.