I like those memes that say, “you had one job”. It is making fun of the fact that they goofed up the one job that they had. Often times, I can see how they got there, which isn’t the funny part. Somehow, things didn’t happen in the order that would have meant success. Somehow, they didn’t know something that was crucial to the success of it all. Sometimes, more often than I want to admit, I fall into that.
So our one job is to make it to heaven and bring as many people along with us as possible. Especially our spouse. At least that is how I see it. Contrary to popular belief it is not simply “be you” but to be the best you according to the will of God. Without the framework of God you are just subscribing to any sin you may want. Being a great moral citizen is fine and all but it is not enough. Following the Ten Commandments is difficult but that is what God wants for us. That is the playground rules. If you break them you go to confession and deal with the consequences. Without God you just deal with the consequences. The suffering means nothing. The joy means nothing. It would all just be a chemical reaction in the moment. And if one does not believe you are created in the image of God than your body means little to you compared to the great glory that it can be.
Part of loving isn’t all the pleasantries of a feeling but often times walking with others speaking a truth. Sometimes a hard truth. Maybe it is your truth. Maybe it is Jesus’s truth. Maybe you are blessed with it being mixed together. We are to play our part. Even if your part makes you appear momentarily unwell or even dumb. You know the cycle well. All is well with no perceived judgement. Many have taken the path in your town. It starts with a guarded door. Placing someone in their near occasion of sin but oh well. Your spouse knows. Just this once. No lies. You tell yourself your doing God a service. Being scrupulous can be a sin too, I guess. Are you in the deep? Keep silent. Cover your mouth. No one is listening, anyhow. God intended this training somehow. If you didn’t hear it it’s not for you. It is not what it seems they say. Participate or the consequences are worse than you could imagine. Your payment is mercy and safety. At any moment they can make you into who ever they want but trust and be betrayed. Does truth really reign? Is it a sacrifice? Who needs to know? Try not to get to attached. Soon it will all turn. A broken heart that God can mend. So step carefully. It all seems unfair and it is. You’re waiting for the penny to drop cause you know they all will abandon you. They have been instructed to. Should you walk or run? Be thankful for what they gave you. Focus on the right things. In the end you have God. An unfair lesson costing more than you ever want but did you sell your soul?
When we listen to the world and not concentrate on the love that our spouse is giving us we so very easily can become unaware or cynical. The thing is we are not in a competition with each other or with other couples. There is not a perfect couple out there. Every marriage has good moments and bad. Some seem to have more good. Some seem to be stuck in the bad. I like the moments when we think we have more good in our marriage than is possible. It is defiantly a roller coaster ride. You may very well think your doing great. Fooling the world. Yet, every couple I know that gets along well has some deep rooted secrets that they keep from each other. Maybe it is to the spouses benefit. It looks peaceful on the outside as they bite their tongue. Is that the way? What has God permitted? Maybe we are surrounded by people that are a lot more alike than we realize. We are keeping the peace but really not in as much peace as we claim to be. We just all need more Jesus.
However, the couples that are killing it are doing some key things right. I think instead of concentrating on what is not going good in a marriage we also have to remember the things that are going right. Maybe that is a fantasy world but perhaps a necessary one. I think that is what the good couples got going for them. Starting with a non-wavering commitment to stay. Sure things could be better. Yet, they do not spend time processing how to make it perfect but are grateful for what they have and try to find the great in each moment.
The things that lead you to be with them forever in the first place is good to remember. This one time, my now husband, had come over for a date. Just prior to him arriving, I had lit a candle and put it on the hot stove. The glass broke and a fire was started. The wax mixed with grease and soon it became a bigger fire. My boyfriend at the time decided to just walk into the upstairs apartment at that very moment and seen me trying to fight this fire. He quickly, without hesitation, grabbed towels from the drawer and started trying to suffocate the fire. I ran down the stairs and pounded on the door to warn the elderly owners to get out of the house. I did not think the fire was going to be put out. Yet, somehow my Superman put the fire out. He had burns on his arms but said he was fine.
We went to his parents home a couple of miles away and his mother, a once trained nurse, knew what to do in the moment. Later he went into the doctor. We had spent weeks putting healing cream on his wounds and bandaging them up. A couple months later and you could never tell he was ever burned. The thing that has gotten me to fall for my husband over and over again is his commitment to helping out in a split second when things seem to be out of control. To spring to action. No matter the cost he is there to do his best to love and protect me.